Musings During Quarantine Time

It feels like there’s very little lightness to this time. Even as I use my mindful practices to try to keep me present and centered there is no amount of covering up what is truly happening in the world.

There is no way to mask the amount of grief and saddness and anxiety that ruminates and lingers like a foggy day.

All to say that there is still joy.

There are still moments of joy. Moments of peace. Moments of laughter. Moments of clarity.

It doesn’t need to last forever. And that’s what any type of practice (meditation practice, yoga practice, soccer practice, running practice etc) shows us. There are moments of high in a one-hour practice. There are moments of low in a one-hour practice. We show up and observe.

I found this chart posted by the National Wellness Insitute pretty helpful to light up my awareness. My only disclaimer that I want to add to this is that there is no right or wrong to this.

Sometimes I find myself in Fear Zone and that’s going to be my experience. Sometimes I’m in the Learning Zone. Other times I find myself in the Growth Zone. We are not bound to one and we are not striving for the other. We are wittnessing, honoring, and nurturing who we are in that moment.

who-do-i-want-to-be-during-covid

Part of my coping mechanism is write, to be inspired, and feel the muse of poetry. In Greek methology, Calliope was the muse of epic poetry. Below is a small compilation of poetry I’ve written during this time and other poetry people have shared with me.

March 21, 2020
Her cries are simple and sweet
Unseen by our eyes
Felt by our fear
Her last breath filled with awakening
Mother Earth – Brenda Umana
**
An Ode to Death…
Enjoy your last breath
Of Joy
Sip the last cup
Of happiness
Take in your last
Dream
Say your last
Devotions – Brenda Umana
**
Through me course wide rivers and in me rise tall mountains.
And beyond the thickets of my agitation and confusion
there stretch the wide plains of my peace and surrender.
All landscapes are within me.
And there is room for everything. – Etty Hillesum 
**
April 10, 2020
Take them with peace
Wrap them in love
Cloud them in surrender
Speak to them in whispers
Hear the lyrics of their Soul
Track the steps of their heart beat
And repeat with the gentle touch of the sky
Akaal Akaal Akaal – Brenda Umana 

**

“Go to the Limits of Your Longing”

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,

then walks with us silently out of the night.
These are the words we dimly hear:
You, sent out beyond your recall,

go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.
Flare up like a flame

and make big shadows I can move in.
Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.

Just keep going. No feeling is final.

Don’t let yourself lose me.
Nearby is the country they call life.

You will know it by its seriousness.
Give me your hand. –Rainer Maria Rilke